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Your good looks are icing on the cake! A long time ago I was pursued on line by a guy when I was looking for a relationship. When I finally got to meet him I asked him how I would recognize him? His response was he would likely be the only one there with only one arm. After months of conversations this was a fact he had never before mentioned.

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I considered being a no-show but I went and honestly I was more upset by his lack of honestly all that time than I was by his missing appendage. Keep telling them up front. I think Josh is addressing it in the right way, in a note after the initial contact. The 1 Question they might have? Why not include something simple but up front like: I read the article as if there was a correct answer. Maybe using instant video conversation skype, etc. It may be a good compromise ; an option to test? By letting guys know upfront will weed out the really shallow guys.

Being disabled either visible or not does not make a guy any less loveable, sweet, horny, etc.. Having said so, good luck to this man. Better to be honest than dishonest. Be prepared for the fact that sexual attractiveness is largely based on physical appeal. If I were you, I would meet people in. The truth is sexier than anything you can invent. I too am gay and have a disability.

Welcome to Reddit,

Unfortunately the second someone mentions being disabled, certain assumptions are made. First, most people assume I am paraplegic and confined a wheelchair. These were just a few Sadly with gay men being so rare, it's not that uncommon for it to be super hard for gay men to find somebody long-term. I am not sure if rarity is the issue. I mean certainly, people find each other just by circumstance alone. Though, I also think you are right as well when you are a small portion of the population it can be tough to navigate those waters. My relationship with the gay community has been strained - at the best of times.

Very early on I found that meeting someone who was interested in a relationship was next to impossible. I was a lot younger then. In the years since, I have not totally given up hope that I will meet someone special, but I have given up hope trying to meet someone. By this I mean that I don't go to bars, I don't spend countless hours chatting online or using dating programs like Tinder on my phone and since I am a mostly solitary person, it seems unlikely that someone's going to pop into my life.

Awesome new dating app provides a sexy space for disabled people to connect / Queerty

The thing for me is that I am genuinely happy being alone most of the time. If it doesn't happen, if I don't meet someone, so be it. I will not be unhappy. If I do meet someone who can look past my gut, hair loss and abrasive personality, then great! Meet people. All sorts of people - not just gay men.

Sex and disability: yes, the two can and should go together | Fran Vicary

You might meet some straight guy that has a gay friend. I see people on Reddit who worry about their femininity standing in their way or their height or that they're Asian. None of that matters to me in the least. Someone being in a wheelchair wouldn't matter either. If I got to know someone and started to care for them so little else would matter yet because of the obsession with physical attributes that so many gay men have my chances of meeting someone remain remote because I'm not a model and I'm getting too old to be considered by anyone except the "I've already fucked 10, men and NOW I'm ready to settle down" guys.

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I'm not in the same situation, but I understand your concerns. If you're ever in a specific major city in the Midwest, let me know and I'll buy you dinner. I can't promise a relationship but you'd get a free dinner anyway! Also, on a side note, if someone put a beer on my head, I might seriously consider punching them. I think there is a part of me that is caught between a rock and a hard place in some of this. On one hand, I am okay with being alone, it's nice and quiet and I can do as I please.

Disability, Sex, Relationships and Dating Roundtable - Hannah Witton

On the other hand, it would be nice to have someone to share life with on a more intimate level and no, I don't mean sex. I think I get hung up on the physical attributes, not for myself but how gay people seem to be perceived. I see these 'perfect' couples, and yet I'm like okay what is their relationship really based on? Are the only together because they compliment each other physically?

But then I have to remind myself that on my end that is shallow thinking. I know I'm better than that when it comes to that stuff. I'm in the midwest as well, though there are plenty of major cities lol. I may take you up on that dinner. Honesty is tricky. While I refuse to compromise on that, I have found it can scare people off.

I think I come on too strong sometimes in an effort to weed out people who can't handle me. You know - push them away early so I can get on with my life if they're going to be flaky. As I get older, I back off that a little but I have tasted my shoes more than once as I've stuck my foot in my mouth for one thing or another. Intimacy is tricky, too. Laying in bed for an hour on Saturday morning talking is impossible for some people. It has to lead to sex. I don't really know many gay couples so I can't imagine what a perfect relationship is. For me, it's two people who can share with each other, learn from each other, laugh that's very important to me and most importantly - trust. I wonder how many gay couples end up together because of sexual fetishes. That kind of freaks me out for some reason. I mean, it would be nice to have someone who was attracted to me for whatever reason but I want something built on friendship and trust - not on a single sexual fetish.

I wish you the best and I wasn't kidding about that dinner And if you like sushi - even better! Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy. All rights reserved.

Want to join? Log in or sign up in seconds. Share your stuff. Share your mind. Get an ad-free experience with special benefits, and directly support Reddit. Adult Youth Or: Welcome to Reddit, the front page of the internet. Not only does this set off a very loud alarm which sends my involuntary movements through the roof, but security are at the door within seconds.

Guys my age often panic at my movements. People walk towards me and then turn back. I know plenty of my non-disabled comrades also get blocked, but it took some time to get used to. Though I date boys my own age, when it comes to Grindr I generally go for guys around 40 as they tend not to have any issues with my movements. I meet around three a week if not more and have rarely had a bad time.